Inviting

Gift list or envelope: what do you ask your guests for?

3 October 2026 · 3 min read

Guests want to give something and above all do not want to give the wrong thing. A clear tip on the invitation helps them, as long as you keep it short and kind. You have three options: a gift list guests pick from, a contribution (the envelope, or nowadays a transfer), or the request to bring nothing. Below is when which option fits, how to word it and how to avoid getting the same thing three times.

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A gift list

Fits a wedding of a couple furnishing a home, a baby shower (the registry) and a communion where the child wishes for something concrete. The upside: every gift is welcome and nothing comes twice. The downside: a list in a shop limits you to that shop, and guests have to go there.

A list on the invitation itself solves that: you put what you wish for, with or without a shop, and guests reserve what they bring. At YourInvited that is the Gift list module (€9,99 per event): what is reserved disappears from the list for the next guest.

A contribution

Fits a couple that already has everything, a trip or a renovation, and a milestone birthday where the gift is an experience. Say what the contribution is for; that makes it personal and takes the awkwardness away. It used to go in an envelope; today many people put their account number on the invitation, so whoever wants to can transfer ahead.

No gifts

Fits a dinner, a reception, a business event, and everyone who really means it. Then say it without ambiguity: "No gifts, your coming is enough." A half request ("gifts are not necessary") reads to guests as "but welcome".

Sample lines

Short and at the bottom of the invitation:

Gift list: "Want to give something? You'll find our wish list on the invitation."
Contribution: "Your presence is the finest gift. If you'd like to give something, a contribution to our trip to Japan is welcome."
Registry: "Lou already has everything, but if you'd like to give something, there's a small list on the invitation."
Nothing: "No gifts. Really."

How to avoid duplicate gifts

With a list guests reserve from. Without a list you get the same bottle three times and the same book twice. A digital list works better here than a paper one, because every guest sees the current state, and because you can still change it when a wish lapses.

Frequently asked questions

Is it rude to put an account number on the invitation?

Not any more, as long as you keep it short and at the bottom and say what it is for. Guests often find it easier than an envelope they have to hand over at the door.

How much do guests give on average?

That differs per family and per party; do not ask and do not name an amount. Whoever asks for a contribution leaves the amount to the guest.

Can you combine a gift list and a contribution?

Yes. On a digital gift list you put, next to the wishes, the option to contribute to something big. Guests pick what suits them.

Make your own invitation?

Pick a style, add your own text and photos and share one link. Starting is free; a paid style costs €4,99 or €7,99 once, per event.